Blog revival time!!!

arghhh.... did something stupid and lost my post... so here's a summary

was reading dunst's blog and found something really inspiring

"The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway."

That's line number 6 of the paradoxical commandments. I especially like this line because it's telling us big dreams and thinking tend to go unappreciated and even attract hostility, but why would that matter? At times like these, you should remind yourself to continue thinking bigger and broader so you can rise above the situation.

This would be very helpful if I had seen it earlier.

Looking back, the past few months were really very meaningful. Even though it was not always pleasant, i have learned a lot of things, especially things on people and managing relationships.


In the past few months, I have experience more teamwork than i ever had. I was involved in a total of about 7 teams, some of which i was a team member, some of which i acted as a leader and some of which I was more like the observer. In any case, I have seen many faces in a team and that gave me many valuable lessons.

I learned that when fatigue sets in, it is easy for a disease to spread in a team. This disease is highly contagious and if not carefully controlled, it will plague the whole team and corrode the entire structure. I have no name for this disease but i'm well aware of the symptoms. it poisons the brain in the following ways:

When people question me, they're picking trouble with me
When people criticize my ideas, they are attacking me
When people don't do their job well, they're not efficient
When I can't do my job well, it's because people are always hindering me
When people are angry, they're showing temper
When I am angry, I'm bringing out a point
When things don't go well, somebody should be blamed for it

It's amazing what this disease can do. It poisons the brain so much that the affected person will have problem doing a simple moral education question

Question: If there is someone you do not like, you should
(a) Ignore him
(b) Approach him and try to settle matters with him
(c) Minimize contact
(d) Go out of the way to embarass him

Of course we know (b) is the ideal answer, but how many of us really can do that in real life? In my opinion, (a) and (c) are not wrong too, but don't be surprised to find ourself choosing (d) at some point of time.


Strangely, in other groups that I have worked in, the disease was almost non-existence. I was really surprised to see some groups click while others break, given the same conditions. The pressure was there, the deadlines were there, the differences were there, but the blaming and the hating weren't there. it was then i realised that there's a powerful medicine that counters the disease, it reverse the thinking in the following ways:

When people question me, I should try my best to answer them
When people criticize my ideas, I should listen so i can improve
When people don't do their job well, I should encourage them more
When I can't do my job well, I know I'll have the support of my friends
When people are angry, I should be understanding to their feelings
When I am angry, I should calm down
When things don't go well, we should try to improve the situation together

This medicine is respect

When you have respect for yourself and others, you recognize people are not out to get you. And when you know your team mates are not there to work against you, you will see that everyone is working towards the one common goal, and we shouldn't really question who do more or who do less, who should be blamed for which mistakes.

I remember my lecturer talking about 'Mian Zi' and I should link it to image. Is the term talking about how you should uphold your image? It appears to be more profound than that...

How should I behave so I can uphold my image?
How should I behave so you can uphold your image?
How should I behave so you will help me uphold my image?

It's never about ourselves.....