I bumped into the 2 kids today and I felt very happy to see them. I was very surprised that they still remember me. And they were very excited to tell me about the hamster, creamy. And ya, I was also surprised that he's still alive.

Some sweet memories remain sweet. Some became bitter. But I am doing very well in forgetting the bitter ones.

I shall no longer say that I've moved on because I did that so many times and it keeps coming back to me. In the past few months, I was on an emotional journey. I have never felt emotions so intense and I've never been this lost. I guess I was so stupid sometimes that people just want to give me a slap to wake up. But I'm still glad I've been through this. It makes me feel that life is more complete because I've experienced emotions I never knew. And it makes me feel empty at the same time.

There's always a bright side to everything. Being empty means I can choose what I want to place in my life and clean out all the mess. :) Ya right, the mess is always there. but then, I can manage them better. Not everything has to have answers. And I need not seek for all the answers.

All this time, my problem lies in only one thing. Myself. And that's where I need to work on.

After the trip, I finally understand what I've lost. I've lost a little confidence, a little self esteem and also my opinions. They're not taken by anyone, it's just me allowing myself to go into a whirlpool of depression. But I'm getting all these back, if not now then soon. I am already on track.

And it helps when there's something to look forward to. I am now very excited about my future career. Got one good offer but I hope my dream job would offer me too. I know the first job will decide what type of lifestyle I'm going to lead. I feel the fire's being ignited again and I really want this chance to prove myself. And this is what i really need in this moment. I don't mind committing all my time into this.

On BGR, I've learned quite a lot too. Somehow I've got a number of friends who met with unpleasant issues and we often have discussions. Through their stories I picked up new things. I can now see things more clearly, and that may give me a good sense on what I should do. Be stronger.