Me and myself

I was tryin very hard to sleep but my senses were all wide awake. The clucking sound of an irritating gecko could be heard from time to time. Some noises made by birds or bats outside the window kept me awake too. I could hear people cursing from afar.

Anyway, i had my mind on the memories of my bmt and sispec days. I recalled that we were tortured on the very first day. I recalled scenes of my bunkmates and me sitting around the table and laughing at one another. I recalled the day i was drenched in the field and my section mate built a fire for me, that the activity i dislike most was fast march, and that I was really happy every weekend.

I remember pressing NONO onto the table and we 'yoko yokoed' (muscle relaxant) his nipples, 'colgated' (toothpaste) his belly button and 'soy sauced' his privates. He was so mad that he ran around hugging anyone in his way. I took the chance to lock 3 section mates in the bunk with this monster, little did i expect that NONO would rub his dirty body on my bed.

At some point when i was smiling at my memories, i realised that i was a different person back then. I was in bmt and sispec because i chosed to be there. I was really focused, i knew what i wanted and i did my best to achieve my goals. It wasn't hard for me back then to point out to someone his mistakes. I was a very straightforward person and my bunkmates liked me for that. In sispec, the insrtuctors were always impressed by my performance and i was soon made the lsm during the assessment phase. The other warren made things difficult for me but i kept my cool and completed my tasks on time. To think of it, I was really impressed by myself back then. Though not many people agreed with my doings, I was so focused that it did not bother me. During that time, i could do amazing things.

Now, i'm a different person from that time frame. I'm back to my school life where i'm not particularly good in studies, not in any other talents, and growing fatter and fatter each day.
I'm not able to find cliques like those in the army. I can't even tell ppl frankly when they are pissing me. I don't volunteer to do anything for anyone, can't do a proper presentation, and slacking my days away. I don't know where life is leading me. I refuse to think.

Maybe it's just a matter of adaption. Quoting Dunstan, Give me half a year and i'll rise above the rests.