seven swords

Watched seven swords with Lionel and Weihan on sunday after a sumptuous lunch at sakae. It turned out to be nothing more than other chinese films. However, the film is entertaining for its absurdities.

I couldn't understand the fighting scenes. One moment, the soldiers were fighting with a man. The next, a wall collapsed, and then the sandbags exploded. Then the soldiers and the man came back to screen again, with the soldiers all lying on the floor. A silent WTF echoed in the theatre.

There were many sex scenes, all very exotic. One showed how a man was biting the back of a woman while the woman was desperately feeding on the back of a roasted pig. Other sex scenes include sex in cave, sex on ice, sex in public... we had little doubt we were watching the work of a sex maniac.

The funniest bit was the part showing a girl running away from the traitor of the village. Apparently, the girl knew too much and the traitor tried to silence her. The village girl scrambled in the midst of the other villagers. The traitor happily walked slowly towards the helpless girl, slaying anyone in his way. Strangely, the villagers were all too busy to notice the drama happening around them, happily minding their own business while their fellow villagers were being slayed. In the end, the traitor took the whole village by surprise and he wasn't even tiptoeing. A village like this really deserves to die.

When the village was left with the girl and some kids. The murderer smiled as he raised his sword. A kid threw a stone at him as the balde almost touched the forehead of the girl. Change of plan! Even though the blade was centimentres from the girl he wanted to kill so badly, the murderer decided to kill the kid first. Hence, the murderer walked slowly towards the kid, raised his sword again before another stone hit him. Change of plan again, he walked towards the other kid who threw stone at him. Just as the kids were keeping him busy by throwing stones at him and making him walk around, the girl picked up a sword and killed the idiot when he wasn't looking. Fantastic plot!