Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Me and myself

I was tryin very hard to sleep but my senses were all wide awake. The clucking sound of an irritating gecko could be heard from time to time. Some noises made by birds or bats outside the window kept me awake too. I could hear people cursing from afar.

Anyway, i had my mind on the memories of my bmt and sispec days. I recalled that we were tortured on the very first day. I recalled scenes of my bunkmates and me sitting around the table and laughing at one another. I recalled the day i was drenched in the field and my section mate built a fire for me, that the activity i dislike most was fast march, and that I was really happy every weekend.

I remember pressing NONO onto the table and we 'yoko yokoed' (muscle relaxant) his nipples, 'colgated' (toothpaste) his belly button and 'soy sauced' his privates. He was so mad that he ran around hugging anyone in his way. I took the chance to lock 3 section mates in the bunk with this monster, little did i expect that NONO would rub his dirty body on my bed.

At some point when i was smiling at my memories, i realised that i was a different person back then. I was in bmt and sispec because i chosed to be there. I was really focused, i knew what i wanted and i did my best to achieve my goals. It wasn't hard for me back then to point out to someone his mistakes. I was a very straightforward person and my bunkmates liked me for that. In sispec, the insrtuctors were always impressed by my performance and i was soon made the lsm during the assessment phase. The other warren made things difficult for me but i kept my cool and completed my tasks on time. To think of it, I was really impressed by myself back then. Though not many people agreed with my doings, I was so focused that it did not bother me. During that time, i could do amazing things.

Now, i'm a different person from that time frame. I'm back to my school life where i'm not particularly good in studies, not in any other talents, and growing fatter and fatter each day.
I'm not able to find cliques like those in the army. I can't even tell ppl frankly when they are pissing me. I don't volunteer to do anything for anyone, can't do a proper presentation, and slacking my days away. I don't know where life is leading me. I refuse to think.

Maybe it's just a matter of adaption. Quoting Dunstan, Give me half a year and i'll rise above the rests.

Monday, October 11, 2004

I can't password my blog!!!

but it should be ok, cos i don't think i'll need to password it anymore.

A few weeks ago, i noticed that i have the tendency to type on personal things, or i have been typing about ppl(mostly negative) in my blog. These posts are left as draft. I've figured that i can't possibly post all the things i've typed (esp those with names) since it makes no difference from gossiping. So, i needed a system to help filter the access of my blog to very trustworthy friends.

Anyway, i can't figure out how. So i'll just continue to publish my posts (apart from those super sensitive ones.) It should be safe because not many people come to this blog to start with. I've stopped telling ppl about my blog and i think i know all the regulars who come to my blog (apart from a few blog hoppers who i dun even know... so no threat). 2ndly, ppl who does come to my blog should all be very neutral ppl (apart from the giant housefly... yes... u), i believe there won't be any big reaction if u see a few familiar names. 3rdly, i have nothing much to hide in the first place.

So i do welcome my friends to come to this blog, those who have been accessing it already. As for those who actually do know me and happen to chance upon this blog, do leave a message so i know who's been here.


Friday, October 08, 2004

guess the reason why i'm here again

since i've decided there're nothing to blog till i find a way to password this.

just wondering if it's normal to experience this frequently. it's 3am, my head turning heavy but i can't fall asleep. lying on the bed makes me feel like my head's exploding. It's that bad.

anyway, watched 2 shows today (which doesn't happen everyday since i spend most of my time on work and wc3)

nightmare on elm street...
i may be a little late (say 20 years??), but this is the first time i watched the first elm street. I'll say this is better than all those sequels that i've watched. truly classic. The focus wasn't on scaring the audience alone, but also on the story and the actings. In this show, u won't just see freddy chasing teens from start till the credits. there're develpments in the story. the show got me browsing thru numerous freddie sites b4 i realised i have a pile of lecture notes to read.

my girl...
the thailand version. i've not seen the original one but i'm expecting it to be better than this thai version. it definitely isn't as sweet as others claim. too draggy for my liking. tho it has a few scenes which r quite funny, the whole show is pretty boring. There isnt enough focus on the theme of this movie and the ending is disappointing. the funny thing is that the best parts actually were screened with the credit rolls (for approx 2.5mins??) too draggy, sappy, and off track... but still rather nice to watch if u dun haf high expectations for it. it'll make u remember the time when u feel that love is to simply enjoy each other's company, and nothing more complicated. i'm waiting to get my hands on the original version of my girl.