昨晚打篮球的时候，眼睛不小心被球打到了！

回到家要脱下隐形眼镜时，才发现眼镜怎樣也不肯出来。我一直捏阿捏，把眼睛都捏肿了。后来才发现隐形眼镜早已不在，我一直在拉的是眼睛那辰膜。 好可怕，左眼到现在还看不清楚东西。

这几天在家埋头苦读的滋味非常不错，比在宿舍里强好多。可是家里的种种不愉快也慢慢地防碍我的进度。没办法，我只好回到校园读书，总不能在这一刻紧要关头分心，家里的事就得等到12月再决结了。好烦人。

视觉还是模糊不清，是不是把眼睛拉破了?

Studying on the computer table is impossible

The computer is one monster machine that is able to enslave me for a long time. I can spend hours on the computer before I remember my exams are a week away. I give in to distractions too easily, no self-control at all.

Listening to online radio has become a daily routine. When I was doing my O's, I tuned in to yes933. It gave me alot of mental support because from the dedications, I knew I wasn't the only one burning midnight oil. Later, when I was studying for A's, I switched to perfect 10 because I thought Glenn ong was funnier. Then came NS and the only thing I hear was "F#CK YOU UNDERSTAND??!!" followed by my eager reply "YES SIR!!!" I stopped listening to radio stations since. Recently, I listen to yes933 again but with a different objective. I want to learn how the DJs talk.

I'm envious of DJs, talk cock and earn money. I wouldn't mind joining them if I have whatever it takes, too bad I don't. I'm bad at talking. I can't even find topics to fill the awkward silences when conversing with people, let alone doing public speaking. DJs talk as if they have endless topics to talk about, endless inspirations. Most importanly, they're able to attract people with what they say, and that's a really useful skill. Hope I can talk like them.

Besides listening to online radio, I was checking out this singer on the web. 张靓颖 (don't know if the characters will appear on the blog because the last time it didn't). New singer in china and I think her voice is damn good. She looks lovely and chio too... potential idol... haha. If her albums make it to singapore, I'll definitely support.

The rest of the night was spent reading blogs. I took a break from the normal routine of clicking on rockson or xiaxue and ended up blog-hopping instead. Lionel blogs once in a blue moon. My old favourite tammy blogs once in a purple moon. JJ has completely forgotten he has a blog. I think the only people on my list who still blog frequently are Dunstan and Steven. Then, I realised Dunstan has links to quite a few good blogs. Good because many of them are chio bus(wahaha) and they also have good language and writing skills. A good change from Rockson's and Xiaxue's writings. Dunstan, if you're reading this..... You have many pretty girls surrounding you sia!! HAHAHA... and happy birthday.......

To end this entry, I'll talk about what I observed in the toilet. 2 days ago, while unleashing an angry gush of water, I saw some ants hanging in the air. On closer observation, it was actually a spiderweb with ants trapped on it. The next two days, I return to the spot frequently to check how big the spider is, only to find that the spider has yet to claim its preys. That's very strange because I thought spiders check on their webs frequently. Was the spider flushed away???

Spam Test!

1... 2.... 3...

My nick on msn was "aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggggggggg"

And people asked me what it was about. I assured them it's sparked by the realisation that exams are just a few days away. Exam stress is common.

But no, I haven't been feeling the same since yesterday. I don't think it's the exams cos i'm not worried at all. I'm a little worried about not being worried though.

family

Recently, my brother reminded me of some family problems which I had forgotten completely. I think I ought to spend more time with my family, ignorance isn't always bliss.

In the midst of getting my head heavy with different thoughts, I watched Deuce Bigalow and enjoyed it throughly. It was ultra sweet. Comedy filled with heart warming scenes, lame and touching at the same time. The only problem was I rented the DVD and found that channel 5 was screening the same show.

After the show, I got back to my thoughts, this time with some inspirations cos the movie had encouraged me quite abit. I wondered why all the drama in the family happen when I'm not around. My father and mother seems ok in front of me, except that their conversation never go beyond the superficial. I guess they don't want to make me worry, but I still can sense there's totally no trust and communication between them anymore. They're just 2 strangers living together bounded by responsibilities like us.

I wish there's something I can do.

insomnia

At 5 am on the tenth week of the third semester in school, I suddenly feel the weight of time resting heavy on my shoulders. It must be contributed by the "rule of four" I finished reading just before I try to sleep and some other random thoughts that came to mind on bed. I tossed on the bed for almost an hour thinking about people I used to know who turned strangers and stangers who are now friends. There are many things that changed without me realising.

On my bedside table stands my alarm clock which rings for 5 sec everyday before I switch it off and go back into my blankets. Its only purpose is to give me a false assurance before I go to sleep and to ease my guilt when I finally wake many hours later. Lying on bed just now, I recalled the time when I could wake myself up even with just 2 or 3 hours of sleep. I have totally lost that ability to fight off the tiredness without sleeping for 9 to 10 hours. It can never return to me without my mother walking into my room with a cane, without the instructors throwing me off my bed, without the pressure of knowing I can't even shit in peace once all other coursemates wake from their dreams, and without having to produce an MC for not attending classes.

I've got this feeling that as time progress, it is leaving me to stand on my own feet. My mother doesn't wake half an hour before me to get me ready to school, my Dad stopped giving me advices, my brother returns from camp once every week. I stopped contacting many of my friends who used to give me all the moral and emotional support I need. I make new ones for convenience. Is this a feeling of lonliness I thought I can never feel?