25/feb

It was the girls campcraft competition today. Like a curse, the flagpole fell like it did last week. This time it landed on one of the girls' head instead. Confusion followed. Some girls ran to the injured person, some tried to salvage the fallen flagpole and some frantically running to call help. The CI in charge of the lot was too busy to notice the drama until the spectators shouted for medic. Blood. Collapsed structure. Casualty. Competition. Tears. Laughter. Cheers. Noises. screams. Everything was a blur.

When we managed to extricate ourselves from the mess, we were glad that help was around. The girl had to be sent to a hospital for checkup. There were many encouraging people around, particularly Jitjin who walked all the way to find us and asked how things were. Miss Loy was also very concerned as she went all the way to the hospital after the competition. There were a few others who gave encouraging words, offered tissue papers, gave warm hugs to the girls; all appreciated.

The girls pushed on after the setback and erected the flagstaff and the gadget. The shelter was broken beyond repair. All of them were sobbing as they waited for the judges to assess their work. Some of them sad because of guilt and some because they felt pity. It is good that they managed to gather enough strength to do a good presentation.

Last week at the boys training, I felt very bad because I thought I wasn't very involved in their trainings. This week, I felt that the structures being presented didn't do justice to the girls. I know the girls trained very hard; many other people were there to make sure that they get the best trainings. I always believe that hardwork will lead to success, and I wanted the juniors to believe that too. But things are not always predictable; mishaps do happen.

Every experience is worth a lesson. I thought today's lesson was too harsh for the girls. It required stronger faith that hardwork is necessary, because it doesn't always return a favourable outcome. It also required them to learn to pick themselves up after they fall. All these were told to them, but the tears blocked some of their mind and I can only hope they figure these out themselves.

I realise there's something that is common between all NPCC people. The girls insisted they need to visit Humaira at the hospital, which I of course could not comply. They felt very sad upon hearing that and insisted they want to wait outside for her at the hospital. This isn't exactly team spirit or compassion. I can't find a word for this, but it's something that warms the heart greatly.

I like NPCC so much; sometimes I learn new things and sometimes I see fragments of my past.

I brought the whole team to Novena square. Felix and Alson bought cakes for the girls to cheer up. I left the team there with Liqi and I excused myself to KK Hospital, secretly. Mr Shun had already rushed there before me. The girl seemed ok except that she had to attend ENT appointments to be sure.

I think I'll follow up on these people. I see potentials in them that can be developed.

My Johari Table

Arena (known to self and others) adaptable, helpful	Blind Spot (known only to others) accepting, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, dependable, friendly, giving, independent, intelligent, kind, knowledgable, logical, modest, observant, organised, patient, reflective, self-assertive, sensible, spontaneous, sympathetic, trustworthy, warm
Façade (known only to self) able, happy, idealistic, shy	Unknown (known to nobody) bold, brave, complex, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, ingenious, introverted, loving, mature, nervous, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-conscious, sentimental, silly, tense, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

62% of people agree that zhongyi is helpful
62% of people think that zhongyi is trustworthy

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (12%) adaptable (25%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (12%) caring (25%) cheerful (25%) clever (12%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (37%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (12%) giving (25%) happy (0%) helpful (62%) idealistic (0%) independent (12%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (25%) introverted (0%) kind (25%) knowledgable (25%) logical (25%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (12%) nervous (0%) observant (25%) organised (12%) patient (25%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (25%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (12%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (12%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (12%) sympathetic (12%) tense (0%) trustworthy (62%) warm (12%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 19.2.2006, using data from 8 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view zhongyi's full data.

We are idiots

The other day, ZZJ was telling me about friendly Japanese girls and his adventures in the land of the rising sun. He was talking so passionately as if his heart had never returned with him. It was quite evident especially when he said:"Japanese or none"

Upon hearing his adventures, the surroundings suddenly turned to be a big contrast. We'll never be able to talk to strangers in singapore. Most people even save on the "excuse me" while they push their way through crowds.

We were still complaining about Singapore's society when this lady approached us. Knowing Singapore, our instinct quickly told us to siam. The lady quickened her pace to catch up with us, pretended to chat abit, and true to our expectation, tried to sell us insurance. Our brains flashed the big "F*CK OFF" in bright red while our mouths only managed to say "I'm sorry, but we're really in a hurry."

My friend's blog described how he was being picked up by a girl, only to find that the girl was a reporter doing an article on HOW GUYS RESPOND TO PICK UPS.

This is the problem of singapore's culture. We're taught to be too self-centred and too defensive. It is commonly recognised that the ones who approach are with motives, usually negative. The ones who get approached usually respond coldly, afraid to fall into trap.

There was once, I saw a monk near my place. He stretched out his hand and tried to pass me an amulet while saying "for peace." Being Singaporean of the skeptical nature, I said "No thanks" frantically and quickly walked past the monk. I was guilt-ridden in the next few hours because I had turned down a man who only wished to spread happiness. I was disgusted by my behaviour and I decided that I should be friendly to approaches (at least of this nature) the next time.

A few days later, I saw the same monk in my path again. He did not seem to remember me and he stretched out his amulet in the well-intended fashion. This time, I took the amulet and thanked him profusely, though I had little faith in what amulets can do. The monk smiled even sweeter and he took out a donation booklet, asking me to donate. I donated $2 to him and he had the cheeks to say it wasn't enough. So much for trying to be friendly. That incident made me believe that it won't hurt if you just ignore.

Ok. Wrong attitude. It should be, it won't hurt to be more careful. Really, doing a simple survery which requires your number for future verifications can lead to numerous calls from insurance companies. Acquaintances who call up suddenly to meet for lunch may be trying to get you to join their MLM company. Even the monk in the above case couldn't ask for donations directly and properly.

Hence, I never like to approach people lest they think I'm a wolf. I know this is something I must really change and I can't. I like to blame the society instead of myself.

I realise... I can finally move on

The day started badly. I woke up an hour late and quickly rushed to school. Slept in the iHUB till I drooled too much to attract attention. Had lunch at NIE but didn't order what I wanted. Searched the library but didn't find any interesting book. Met up with kean to go to HTA together and spent alot of time there. Was late for unit meeting but still able to catch the important details. Bus ride home was fairly interesting, but reached home to find I lost my MD.

Nothing significant happened... I just suddenly have this strength to overcome the barrier I wasn't able to for the past 2 months........ POWER~~~

JJ's birthday

We didn't really celebrate for him. JJ had his dinner at the foodcourt and so a dinner treat was out. After the movie, we couldn't think of anything we could do to celebrate his birthday apart from eating, so I suggested we take a walk along the singapore river behind esplanade. It was a very romantic place and the four of us looked very out of place. We had to plan something else quickly, something that is interesting (apart from eating) and won't make us seem like gay.

GAY!!!! ZZJ told us that his gay friend said Raffles City is a gays hangout. Since Raffles city was so near, we went on to investigate after deciding there's nothing better to do.

At the entrance, we were greeted by the presence of many couples, all consisted of male and female. We thought we had to infiltrate further into the mall where the gays were rumoured to dwell. Went deeper, travelled up and down many escalators, but all males were accompanied by chiobus. After one round in the mall, we only found 2 suspects who wore tight fitting pink, and may not be gay. We were the most suspicious people there.

The conclusion is.... either ZZJ's friend was talking cock or the gays were at the staircases where we never checked. We had fun laughing at the suspects.

The investigators: Junhan, JJ & ZZJ