random thoughts

I just found I could actually pay a little more to transit in hong kong and stay there for a day or two..... but too late...... paid for everything already

Interviews next week. I hope I'm prepared.

Big whirlpool and I wanna stay afloat...

I enjoy solitude but I can't really get it here

I'm an escapist?

Past few days have been fruitful..... but i think i'm spending too much. Really need to save up so i can spend more in shanghai... :) Looking forward to that trip.... and I wonder if it's ok for me to go around alone before i look for lionel

arriving at night and departing in the morning.... that's two days off my week long holiday.... and that's because of an interview i'm not really interested in.... what am i doing?

I like my mental state now. It feels so peaceful and calm and I'm feeling indifferent to things that would be strong stimulants in the past. Sometimes, indifference is good.

Stretching your dollar

In terms of being financially smart, there're a few people I ought to learn from.

Firstly, there's Dan, who always look for the cheapest deals before he make a purchase. I am really impressed by the effort he puts in his research, so I went down to the supplier with him today just to see how much money he can save in buying his bicycle. He paid 150 for a bicycle that has a retail value of 240. 90 dollars for doing some homework.... not bad.... I should start looking for good deals in this manner.

And then there're a few friends who save up and invest a portion of their money. I think it's quite important to be investment savvy. At the very least, you must make sure your savings beat the inflation rate, or you're only draining your purchasing power. So probably i need to start somewhere soon. Wanted to go into forex but maybe stocks trading would be easier to start.

And this thing about the business, at this stage it's still throwing in money and effort so that someday it can run on its own. I just hope that very soon.... i can start drawing an income from it too..... and some day, it's going to be something big enough to be a career...

Well, the most practical thing to do now is of course to secure a job with good training and development. I really don't mind overseas opportunities cos it seems to be the right time to see the world.

Counting down to Shanghai in 11 days.... maybe i can visit the companies there to see if they employ? haha

About the first day

Today is a really fulfilling day and I really wish everyday can be like this. Probably just need to watch how much I'm spending. There's no gap in between, and I had to rush from one event to another so the day past rather quickly. Felt like I've done a lot of things in this little time :)

The morning meeting would probably excite me if it was held half a year ago. 2 working professionals, one professor and a kid. Of course, what i could manage was just to play the supporting role and to give my project a complete closure, which felt quite good. It just occured to me that maybe there were more things we could do for the project to make it commercially viable, though I'm pretty confident it is more than sufficient for academic purposes.

And then there was lunch with Prof Ang, who told me his perspectives on how engineers should hold on to some tangible skills instead of jumping into management. Singapore is becoming a high cost low tech country because its citizens are not technically inclined, but are just shuffling resources around. That was really a good point to consider.

And then WG and I rushed down to deliver the goods.... woohooo.... another business......

At night, when all the work was done, I met up with the makan gang for a buffet dinner. Long time since we had met up for buffet and we coudn't eat as much as we used to. But the company (and the salmon) were very enjoyable.

And there was the long bus ride with Ryan who shed some light about finding a good job...

Really... if i can have such good balance of work, accomplishment, satisfaction, companionship and enjoyment everyday, life would truly be good.

Tomorrow's the presentation to LTA, which means it's the final presentation that I have to do. So i'm quite determined to make this a really good one. However, the program seems to run slower on my laptop. Every frame takes over half a minute to render, which means it's probably very hard to convince them that it's suitable for real time usage.

Just got to hope that the computers in LTA are much faster than my laptop, which is really a big hope. Haha. I just wonder how commercial software use median filtering without taking time. That's for tomorrow to worry. :)

Anyway, I was reminded that I've been very extreme in doing things recently. Someone told me I sounded very passive and m trying too hard to convince myself that I'm alright, which is quite true ah. Recently been a bit siao siao in handling things. But i really feel i'm getting better already. Just that the past few months of passive thinking is still affecting the behaviour. Emotions are not that easy to control sometimes, and I try to do what i can. Made some mistakes here and there but it doesn't matter. I'm not really afraid of screwing up now. I'm more afraid of inaction.

I know it's probably time to gain new perspectives, so i'm taking time off to re-evaluate my situation. Already planning for a holiday in less than 2 weeks, can't wait for that to come. Haha. And I've decided to get myself drunk there since i don't have to get home to explain why I went drinking. Maybe I can crash one or two lectures as well just to see what it's like. Really wonder how they teach computing or maths in chinese.

Hope I can see things in a different light after this trip. That's if I don't get lost in China. Not very funny when i think about it.

Zhongyi, after this trip... you must come back to face your problems alright.... you can't always run away from them...

The thing about uncertainty

I'm blogging this in a semi self mocking mood.

I must have mentioned this before. Recent encounters made me realise that life is full of uncertainties and I actually am seeing some fun in it. I've been trying to gain control and evaluate where every step will lead to, but you know, when you ask questions like "what happens if i do this and this?" You'll probably get a lot more questions than when you started. So sometimes I just take that step and then see where it leads me to. Damn fun.

Recently I had this conversation with a friend, though I can't remember who. I told him wouldn't it be good to have someone who will tell you exactly where every step will lead to, like a mentor in life? My friend said this which really made sense. "You'll hate that person forever"

So ya, your life is yours to live and the possibilities are there for your to explore on your own.

You know, I could use 2 things now. One is a patience refiller, the other would be a mind reader.

I was reading the 200 over emails I didn't read during the sem, and there was this particular one by Miss Pang on job hunting. One of the lines said:

Life is about progress and not perfection

It's quite encouraging isn't it?

And I'm stuck on something..... and I can't do anything much to extricate myself except to have a little more patience..... patience......

Why's my productivity rate so low recently????? WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

I like to write something personal here, and because I lost track of who might be reading this blog, I just want to say that this isn't about self pity. I am only documenting thoughts. If you can understand that, you're welcome to read.

Well... it seems it hasn't really ended... not yet

I know having some setbacks in life is necessary, and I couldn't be more grateful because through a series of setbacks, I've learned and experienced things I didn't know before. Although this is the most heartbroken journey I ever took, I know it'll be the same as the other rough patches in my life. At the end of it, I'll be proud that I held on and I've became stronger.

You know, I once thought that this would be over once I forget a certain someone, but then there's still the aftermath. The sleeping disorder that's built up over months, the irregular eating habits, the habit of occupying my time with random things so that i don't feel any vacuum, the strong reliance on friends to tell me which steps to take.

The worst thing is the tendency to manifest negative thoughts. Whenever I come across a problem, I'll tend to be very negative about it. This isn't like me, and I am ashamed. Sometimes I feel some of these problems I'm worrying about are self inflicted, and that make me feel stupid.

Whatever it is, I have this defence mechanism that will sound the alarm when it's time to change. And I'm already on my way to rectify these things. I guess I'm getting better everyday, but it takes time. I'm going to bring matters into my hands instead of watching what will happen.

I remember this powerful quote that I heard back in the Haising days:

"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects the wind to change; the realist adjusts the sail"

So enough waiting and hoping. Things won't work if I don't put in the effort.

The HO nite

While I was browsing through the photo gallery of the NTU NPCC website, I found some pictures of the great war during the HO nite last year..... So here it is... some fun memories for a change...

This is the line up for the battle... I think.... we had to tie the balloons to our legs and make sure other people don't step on our balloons while we burst theirs...

The battle cry before the war

And this is the battle... as usual, my team got into the final round... haha... cos we always have a good strategy

And this picture describes the strategy perfectly

Well, in the end we didn't win because 2 junior teams gang up to bully us... the old people... haha

And we ended with this family photo...

What it takes to be happy

Junjie's nick on msn: Junjie- Life's like a piece of hotdog

zhongyi-!h6uoɥz says:
y hotdog?

Junjie says:
oh today i eat a hot dog n this is my sudden inspiration

Junjie says:
after eating e hotdog i feel tt life is gd

About the end of school

This concludes the 9 months of effort, as well as 16 or 17 years of school... but trust me, the feeling of relief is short lived, like 30 minutes? Cos it didn't take us long to realise we've transformed from students to the unemployed.

I think the presentation went quite well. Seemed like the profs were rather happy with our project, so i guess that brought up the expectations a little? Hopefully won't fall too far..... haha. And at one point I was stuck on the point that the expressway has 100% camera coverage, prof Ang actually helped us with a lame joke.

"That's why mas selemat don't drive on the highway eh?" haha

About random things that are associated with other random things

You can tell i'm really lazy to think of a title

I realised that blogging is still my favourite outlet of emotions because it helps me organise my thoughts and then I'll write in a way not too explicitly so that no one can understand what I'm really talking about. So for people who follow my blog and you go "huh? what's this guy doing?"... well done!!! Let's talk about some things explicitly today.

You see, it's like the end of school life and surely there're valuable things to be documented. Anyway, this is going to be very random since I'm just killing time waiting for Mr Kenneth to arrive for our FYP meeting.

ok he's here... so maybe next time... haha