幸福不是必然的，是要靠自己努力争取和珍惜

今天在看港剧时偶然听到这句话，给了我很多的感想。

其实，长了这么大，我从来没有认真地看待人生。可能我觉得事情总是会往好的方向发长吧。这一生中，从没有经历过太大的挫折。念书，交友个方面也没遇过太大的困难。虽然没做到最好，却非常地安于现壮。可能我真的太懒散了，但我以为知足就是幸福。

我这幼稚的想法渐渐地被残酷的现实破灭。不知到为什么，今年好像注定要上一堂堂的社会课。经历了心痛，经历了心酸，也经历过了愚蠢，好像跌进了深渊一样，好渴望雨过天晴。现在雨是过了，但是不是晴天已不重要。自己象麻痹了一样， 不再期望有好事发生，只要不再跌倒就好了。

想想，有时还是会怀恋那个不董事，对未来充满向望的我。虽然知道这个我不可能在这社会上生存，但如果可以的话，我真希望能留着那乐观的态度，继续相信人生的精彩不仅如此。

Having a PDA really helped a lot in increasing my productivity last week, but when I saw the iphone, I feel my gadget's not that interesting anymore...

Still feel my speed's not good enough. Working through the weekend.

Sometimes, the more I avoid failing, the further I am away from success.

Yes. Life's not completely smooth and pretty or that would be very boring. A little hiccups and setbacks here and there makes the wonderful things even more wonderful. So probably that's why we all get tested sometimes.

I hope I'm doing the right things. Obviously, I'm implying self doubt by asking that question. But I can't know...

I do what i think is best

Sometimes I wish I can just get it out of my head......... can I be indifferent???

4.06am

my brain refuses to sleep because it wants friday to last a little longer...

I want a KS20

I'm totally happy with my K810. Good camera, intuitive controls, stylish design, but it's just not meant to last. The cables are giving me problems. And I find that I don't take that many pictures.

Recently, I've been beowing the KS20. Not a new phone but it seems to provide very attractive features. Apart from being slim and stylish, it is windows powered which means I can do my doc and xls on it, tho I really hope to have a pps editor which is not available anywhere in the market.

Wonder if i can get used to using stylus quickly... the phone doesn't come with a num pad

Anyway, the camera would be a downgrade since LG isn't famous for its cameras. It's more famous for fridges so probably they should include a freezer in the phone. They can call it the penguin.

LCD display I'm not so sure. Been wanting to try it in the handphone shops but the sales people tried to push samsung omnia to me. Why would I want to pay an additional 400 dollars for something similar??? Basket. I do hope that I can watch movies in reasonable quality since I usually spend lots of time running around.

I'll probably will get it tomorrow, or next week. Got to be over the weekends so I'll have time to figure out how to use it.

Excited... haha

2 years

What is 2 years to you?

I've never given it much thought in the past. But looking back at where I stand in every 2 years, I realise that 2 years can really make a lot of difference. And most of the time it's so different that you cannot associate the lifestyles at all. Only that the differences are not really planned, not deliberate and things just change without being even noticed.

And I'm done looking backwards. I want to look forward now and plan for where I want to be in the next 2 years. I can't be just a passenger riding on chances. I know this is probably the most critical 2 years in my life.

In many areas I'm really short sighted and myopic. I was never a patient person and I didn't believe in delayed gratification. But then, I always know the biggest success in life cannot be rushed for. So this time, I'll work steadily towards it and I'll let nothing distract me.

2 years later... Zhongyi will be very different again, except this time he has planned for it.

Somehow it feels like I've lost the ability to organize my thoughts. Here's random rojak

A few interesting ideas came to mind recently, but I forgot what they are soon enough. I only remember this weird dream with a man throwing daggers at me because I failed to perform a magic trick. funny.

At work, it's new things everyday with new challenges. Nothing much to complain but I just hope I can go even faster. Tomorrow shall be the day I'll finish that proposal I ought to finish long ago... I hope......

Meeting up with the HRM friends was really fun. One of the best sundays I got in a long time. But I probably will need to commit my sundays to do something more productive... maybe blading?

Cab fare to robinson road in the morning is 30 dollars..... BASKET

Just found that so many friends are working in the same area. And food in CBD is as cheap as what we get in school... so shiok

It still comes back to me when I sleep at night. But now, I don't want to blame myself anymore. Just found myself quite foolish in the first half of the year. But like what they say, if it doesn't kill you it'll only make you stronger. Who are you to tell me all these things anyway?

And... I know circumstances are different and I'm adjusting to the new lifestyle. At the expense of not meeting up and catching up with friends. And I do give selective attention. But then, nothing I can do because there's only 24 hours a day. And I enjoy the new life too much to revert back to my old lifestyle. So we'll see how this goes.

Heavy flu.........

Saving up to go into investment in december. Recently knew a friend who's a trader and his job sounds damn good. Probably can learn more from him since he's just working beside my workplace.

Super running nose

Waraku is damn nice lah................

Scratch on my watch and it really pains my heart to see its pretty face scarred.... argggg.... but like all things, it'll become invisible after a while. I ought to learn to take care of my things

burp

Thinking of going for a good massage. Maybe foot reflexology would be good.

Mr Zhongyi will buy his psp IF the company is moving to farfaraway...

Yesterday on the breakwater, the group of us made a decision to go sky diving next year

... you can only do this when you're young.... ahahahaha. Just gives me no reason to say no.

It better not rain today...

You're probably aware that singaporeans have been programmed with a social timeline. You can find that almost all males will marry at the same age, have the same number of children, buy flats at the same time, performing similar duties and take up the same roles.

Funny eh??

About purpose?

I've been thinking about this since I was really young. Is there a higher purpose in life other than purely surviving and procreating? If yes, what is it? Enlightenment? Bettering mankind? love? Wealth? Or simply do good and feel happy about it at your deathbed? All of these can be profound yet shallow depending on how u look at them.

And then as I grow, I realised that maybe there isn't a single universal purpose. Everyone seems to have the choice to decide on what they ought to do and how they can feel accomplished about their lives. That said, many don't get to live it. And many others feel misguided after a period of time. So sometimes it felt like we're making a blind guess and hope we hit jackpot.

You know, life is very amazing. Its complexity suggests that its origin is unlikely to have caused by a random mixture of events. However, when you look at things such as cockroaches that go around feeding of scraps and laying eggs. You'll start wondering where this everlasting lineage is heading?

Same for men. Yes, we do improve our brains. But at the end of it, what for? When we finally can hit the speed of light and time travel; or have all the answers the universe hold; or hold the capacity to shower everyone with love and care. Then what?

I know this is bo liao in the midst of a tender submission. But it does make some sense right?

probably that's why lots of people want to believe in afterlife. It can't just end here right?

Mr Greenhorn..... learn fast!!!!!

After half a year of soul searching and bouncing up and down, I still have no idea what went wrong. I just gave up thinking and chuck it under the carpet hoping it will disapppear. It isn't my priority anyway. But... in my mind I am hoping I'll face it again some day in better circumstances.

Use this time to do whatever adjustment you need to do ok zy...